Depending on the school schedule you follow, it is just about time for Records Day and progress report weekend.  Then, parent-teacher conferences follow soon after.  One of the few perks of being a principal is not having to work on progress reports.  I always made sure that my staff had some rolls, donuts, or bagels the Friday before report card weekend!  My way of relieving my guilt, I guess!

I loved parent-teacher conference time both as a teacher and as a principal.  As a teacher, it was such a good time to get to know the parents more and to have some time, however brief to impart the joy of learning that their child had achieved so far.  As a principal, my focus was to be supportive; making sure our school was clean, providing extra support in classrooms to assist with assessments, ensuring all of the printing of cards was done in a timely manner, and feeding my teachers dinner on our scheduled conference nights.  

At parent/teacher conferences I loved seeing all my teachers dressed up, visiting classrooms and finding them  clean and well organized, and most of  all  enjoying the extra special student writing and art work  posted on the walls.  I loved doing walkthroughs during conferences talking with the children and finding out about what they have learned, chatting with parents about how they felt their child was doing, and just having time to read some of the fun writing that students had been creatively working on in the classroom. 

Last spring, I had an opportunity to hear Regie Routman at the national ASCD conference in Chicago. As a literacy coach who exclusively seeks long-term commitment and work with a school; the first thing that she does when she visits for the first time is check out the school’s culture.

“The first thing I notice when I enter a school is how welcoming it feels to visitors. I look for authenticity and real-world purposes in literacy tasks, collaboration by teachers and students, conversations that go beyond test-taking and skills, a beautiful, clean, and safe environment. I notice what's in the hallways and on classroom walls and whether what's posted is truly meant to be read by readers or is just posted to fill space.”

Routman suggests that her 45 years of experience with schools leads her to believe that the culture of the school has more to do with student achievement than any other factor and states further that:  ”Research indicates that when children read and write for authentic reasons, achievement goes up.”  At the conference learning session, Routman instructed us to walk our halls and find out if what is posted is meant to be “read by readers or is just posted to fill space.”

As you walk through your hallways at parent/teacher conferences this year, I invite you to Read Your Walls!  What do you have posted in your hallways?  Routman says that just about every school has the obligatory  “Please check in the office if you are a visitor sign posted at every door.”  Her advice is that instead of posting a commercially made sign, have the students create one that gives their writing authentic purpose.  Do you have rules and procedures posted in your hallways?  Have students write these out and add visuals and have them posted in the hallway. 

Routman gave several examples of how students at schools she coaches created spaces in the hallway using writing for authentic reasons and purposes.  Some students created a “peace bench” and listed the rules of how to successfully work through conflicts.  Another example was inviting students observing others following the school’s character guidelines to write down the name of the student and the character traits displayed and post it on a board by the principal’s office.  Many schools participate in a school-wide postal program where students write to each other, to their teachers and principal and deliver the “mail” to individual classrooms with assigned addresses and made up zip code. 

What could you implement after reading your walls and ensure more authentic writing for a purpose is posted for your readers?  It could be as simple as putting a mailbox in your office to allow for students to write suggestions, appreciation letters, or comments to you.  You could create a bulletin board outside your office, which allows the students to write and post affirmations about why they like your school!   How about an interactive board where the students get to suggest where you should go on summer vacation?  Our modeling of writing and its importance is essential in ensuring successful implementation in the classroom by our teachers. 

Here are some potential writing ideas, posted by Routman for you to initiate with students that focus on authenticity and purpose:

·      Welcome letter to a new student

·      Classroom procedures

·      School alphabet book

·      Letter(request) or invitation(to celebrate learning) to the principal

·      Playground rules

·      Lunchroom Etiquette

·      Guide for substitute teachers

·      Student survival handbook

·      New student handbook

·      Reading pamphlet (why you need to read)—for younger students

·      Memories of elementary school

·      Book about teachers at our school

My next column will focus on Routman’s thoughts on Instructional Walks and how we as principals need to actively participate in the learning in classrooms and provide positive feedback to the teacher and students right in the classroom to create relational trust and provide confidence in the form of transformational feedback.

For now, this parent/teacher conference time, take a moment to travel through each hallway and read your walls!  What are they saying to you?

 

Tip of the week:

Again in the last few weeks, we have heard of more tragic school shootings and we are nearing the one-year anniversary of the unspeakable tragedy at Sandy Hook Elementary School.  Many principals have worked toward being proactive by focusing on the needs of students and bringing dads to school as special volunteers with a program called Watch D.O.G.S (Dads of Great Students)  Join the over 3,000 schools in 46 states who have engaged men, inspired children, reduced bullying and enhanced the educational environment of their school. Check out this link to see how you could bring this life-changing program to your school!  WATCH D.O.G.S.

Want to learn What Great Principals Do Differently?  Join me on Wednesday, November 20 at the MEMSPA Learning Center for an interactive learning day that will fulfill your aspirations as a learning leader by receiving the great advice and practical wisdom from Todd Whitaker's work and the experience of a seasoned principal. Discover what you can do differently!  Click here to register! What Great Principals Do Differently

Stop, Look and Actively Listen!

 

I am writing this column mostly for my male principal colleagues, but I hope those principals of the female persuasion will learn something, if not celebrate and concur with the information!

Okay, guys, let’s face it; we have to admit that as men we have some difficulties listening, I mean truly listening, like listening for understanding.  And sometimes, even hearing, like my wife likes to affectionately (I hope) call “Man Listening!”  You know the drill, we are behind the paper, watching the news or sports channel and our beloved significant other tells us something and we acknowledge with a “Yes, dear, or sure, no problem.”  And we have not registered a word that they have said to us.  Hereafter known as “man listening.” 

This propensity to not be so great at being listeners is compounded further by our male need to solve problems.  You know what I am talking about.  The instant you listen to a voice mail from a parent or central office administrator or a teacher sends a note and wants to see you, your mind is racing trying to figure out what it is they want to talk to you about and already coming up with solutions to solve the problem.  As leaders, one of our jobs is to solve problems and we have to always have  “what if “ scenarios prepared in our brain to lead proactively.   But, how do we know if the person wants a solution or just needs a listening ear and some empathy? In order to build our relational trust  bank while we are meeting with others,  practicing  good listening, listening to understand and then to be understood is essential!  A practice called active listening!

The Chinese have a symbol for active listening that compounds separate symbols that include the need for eye contact, ears open to listen, undivided attention and I like this, heart!  In other words, completely there, present and showing withitness.

Michael H. Hoppe, author of Active Listening: Improve Your Ability to Listen and Lead, published by the Center for Creative Leadership shares six skills and behaviors of active listening “the willingness and ability to hear and understand” that will help us as leaders to become more effective.  He explains that active listening involves paying attention, holding judgment, reflecting, clarifying, summarizing, and sharing.

Paying attention

Pay attention to the details!  Create a comfortable relaxed atmosphere, be a listener and a learner, stay in the moment.  The intention is to connect and understand and not interrogate.  Operate out of respect and empathy.  Maintain eye contact, check body posture, give affirmations through head nodding and keep the other person talking.  Pay attention to the other person’s non-verbal and verbal behavior.

Holding Judgment

Keep an open mind.  As a listener and a leader one needs to be open to new ideas, perspectives and possibilities.  Even with strong views, we must suspend our judgment and tell ourselves:  “I’m here to understand how the other person sees the world.  It is not time to judge or give my view.”  Try and see the other person’s point of view through a different lens.  Slow conversational pace and allow the other person to talk and elaborate.  Allow for pauses.

Reflecting

This is what we practiced in Education 200 class!  Paraphrase the conversation to confirm your understanding of the person’s key points and emotions.  “What I’m hearing is . . .” or  “Let me make sure I understand what you’re saying . . . “ are good reflection statements. 

Clarifying

Double-check issues that are unclear by using open-ended and probing questions.  These draw people out and encourage the expansion of ideas and uncover hidden agendas.  Some examples of open-ended questions:

“What are your thoughts on . . .”

What led you to draw this conclusion?

Some examples of probing questions may be:

“Let me be clear, are you talking about . . .?”

“I missed something, could you repeat that?”

“Can you explain it in another way?”

Summarizing

Throughout the conversation it is important to restate what has enfolded so far.  Some examples may be:  “It sounds as if your main concern is . . . “ or “These are the main concerns I have heard so far . . .” One may also have the participant summarize by asking these questions:  “What have you heard so far?” or “To make sure we are on the same page, please summarize what key points we have agreed upon.”  Summarizing doesn’t lead to agreeing to anything but does help everyone be clear on responsibilities and follow-up.

Sharing

Active listening doesn’t mean that the leader doesn’t get to share their perspective!  It just means listening to understand first and then to be understood.  After understanding the other person’s point of view, it is time for the leader to share his or her ideas, feelings and concerns.  Share your point of view, collaborate on ideas and or set next steps by using these statements:  “  “Before our conversation I was feeling . . . now I am feeling or understand . . . “  “Your idea on . . . triggered a thought I had that might . . . “

Hoppe shares further that the expectation of a leader is to be charismatic and have all the answers and that active listening might contradict the image of a strong leader.  Research has shown that despite the fact that leaders think they listen more than they talk, they do 80 percent of the talking in their interactions with others.  Applying the skills of active listening allows leaders to be empathetic and solution focused.

Dr. Nancy Colflesh has shared a wonderful document from an ISD staff meeting with Jack Pyle in April of 1995 entitled First Steps to Listening for Results

Pyle says that first you must show that you C.A.R.E.

 

Concentrate

·      Good listeners pay attention to much more than just the words

·      What is the CONTEXT of the person talking to you?

·      Listen and look for:

1.     Mood of the person-what are their feelings?

2.     Vocal speed

3.     Vocal volume

4.     Key words or phrases

5.     Posture

 

Ask yourself two questions

1.     How is the person feeling?

2.     What is the main idea being communicated?

Respond to the feelings

·      Feedback the feelings:  say what you believe they are feeling, especially when people have strong feelings about something

 

Explain what you heard

·      Paraphrase:  explain the main idea you heard

 

We discourage talking according to Pyle when we show lack of attention by looking around, allowing distractions and having closed and uninvolved posture.  Making judgments, asking non-clarifying questions that lead to taking over conversation allow for no encouragement to talk.  Finally, giving advice telling the participant what to do and blaming and criticizing are a sure way to kill our ability to be good listeners.

As they say, practice makes perfect.  I got a lot better at conversation with others over the years.  But, I failed to be a good listener on several occasions and it usually was when I tried to respond in the moment.  Remember to give yourself time to plan a conversation and pick the right location and time to hold it.  When people are upset and are demanding an answer, we must be consistent in our response in showing empathy, but setting our own agenda.  “You are really upset about that, let’s talk about this in my office, when can you meet?”  “I will think about what you said, and get back with you.”  “Now is not a good time for me to address your concern with my full attention.  Let’s meet in my office or in your room . . ..”

I believe our intention is always to listen with our heart; it is just that our head gets in the way at times! 

Tip of the week:

Before you know it, progress reports will be due and Parent-Teacher Conferences scheduled.  It is important to take care of a few issues right now before conferences occur.  Here are some things to think about:

·      Make sure you are scheduling a ½ day at the minimum, with your new teachers and their mentors to review progress report procedures and parent-teacher conference tips.  Make sure your new teachers feel comfortable holding these conversations and know how to communicate positively.  Remind them that parents want to know two things:  “Do you love my child and do you know what you are doing?”

·      Have you tried one of the online scheduling programs like schoolbookings.net?  These programs are fairly inexpensive and allow for parents to schedule their own conferences online.  Gone is all the paperwork, phone calling, sibling conference meetings, and reminder notes to be sent home.  Even those parents without Internet access can come to school to schedule or have the teacher schedule by phone. 

·      Parent-teacher conference time is a great opportunity to receive feedback.  Invite your parents to the computer lab to take a Survey Monkey type perspective survey about your school.  Have the coffee brewing and cookies available (as well as a technology assistant, if you can) to ensure good completion.  Paper and pencil works just fine, too!  Have collection boxes decorated and placed at each door and have your teachers pass out the survey after the conference is over.  You can learn a lot through simple written comments to statements like:  What ONE thing do you love about our school and should never change?  What is ONE thing you would change about our school?

·      NAESP puts out wonderful parent/school communication documents that can be shared in newsletters, in blogs, online, etc.  You receive these as part of your membership.  If you missed it, here is the most recent publication about parent expectations for conferences:  Parent/Teacher Conference Expectations

·      Don’t sit in your office during conference time, but be visible in the hallways and spend time talking with parents and finding out how the conference about their child went and any celebrations or concerns that may have surfaced.  These conversations are priceless in building our trust relationships, help develop strong perception about being an active leader and give us great information about parent perceptions about our school.

·      Read your walls!  Stay tuned for my next column!  I am focusing on writing for a purpose and will be sharing information from Regie Routman about our need to walk our hallways and find out how the written word is displayed for the public.  Is it simplistic?  For a purpose?  What message are we sending regarding the importance of writing at our schools?  Oh, yes, we will talk about the signs placed at every school door inviting parents to check in at the office.  She definitely has something to say about that!

Have you signed up for the December conference?  I hope to meet many of you in Traverse City!  Until we meet again, happy trails to you!

We have said good-bye to summer and hello to fall and the hard work of leading a school is surfacing and becoming more apparent as the fresh “eyes” of summer break wane and the reality of the difficult task it is to educate every child, every day, weighs on every principal’s mind.

I have no scientific proof, but I always felt that the two worst months for morale at school are October and February.  Never mind, April, May and June, that is a whole story for another column.  October means frying kids’ brains on the MEAP, teachers realizing that they have a class filled with students that need to learn and being reminded once again of how hard it is to meet the needs of every child each and every day.    Demanding parents and voice mails, emails, notes home etc. looming.  And, did you say that it is one month to progress report time?  I won’t even mention Common Core implementation and any other “new” program or system you are attempting to implement.   Even if you don’t celebrate, Halloween thoughts have started and the Zombies are taking over!   It’s overload time and   let’s face it, the teachers tend to take it out on you, the principal!  In order to build quality relationships, foster positive morale and maintain relational trust, it is how we respond during these difficult times that every school culture goes through that will define us as leaders.

This summer I had the privilege of attending the NAESP National Principal’s Conference in Baltimore, MD.  I was reminded again by Todd Whitaker who helped shape my career as a principal, that great principals take responsibility for their own performance and behavior and one of the hallmarks of effective principals is to treat EVERYONE with respect, EVERY DAY, EVERY TIME! Whitaker reminds us that each of us can remember a time that a leader treated us inappropriately.  No matter how long ago, or even if we have forgiven them, we will never forget the moment.  How will we respond in the heat of the moment when the demands become too great and we just want to tell someone how we really feel?  Our job is to take the high road and be POSITIVE! 

In order to counteract the inevitable low morale that is potentially looming, be proactive and build relationships with praise!  Whitaker reminds us that in order to praise others, it must be authentic.  We cannot use praise in order to manipulate or get others to do things we want them to do. 

It is one of the reasons that I liked to use written words of praise to my staff.  In this technological world, it is easy to send an email, put some words of praise in our newsletter, and even leave a voicemail.  Mind you, these are effective ways to praise, but it seems like the written word, penned in our own hand, has meaning and people treasure these special notes.

Validation builds self-esteem and helps redirect the focus of others on all the negative things happening in their lives and puts the focus on what is right with the world.  A validation message in written form does two things.  It affirms another person for a quality they have or an action they demonstrated.  And, it describes how the writer feels about that action or quality.  A validation note has four critical attributes:

§  It’s affirming

§  It’s sincere

§  It’s informative

§  It’s specific

So try it out!  What if when you are doing your morning walkthrough you notice a teacher is struggling with a difficult student in class?  You observe that they handle the situation well and firmly redirect the student and get him or her back on track.  What if you were to write a quick validation note to that teacher that is informative, specific, sincere and affirming and put it in his or her box or even on their desk after school so they open it first thing in the morning?   Your teacher will so appreciate it, and think to him or herself that, ”Hey you noticed that I have a tough situation here!  I did a good job and he or she noticed!”  Whitaker asked his audience this summer, “Have you ever been praised, too much?”  “Of course not!”  Everyone loves to be acknowledged, validated, and given a pat on the back!  No one minds praise when it is authentic!

At the end of each school year, I would take the time to personally write a thank you note to every staff member (all 81!  Teachers, paraprofessionals, office staff, custodians, and kitchen staff) It took me the first full week that school was out, but it paid off tremendously.  I did my best to personalize each note and acknowledge a particularly trying personal situation or celebratory event or validated an action or special quality.  My staff treasured these notes and many informed me of how they felt that I was attuned with them and   how it started their summer off right after a long school year.  Many vowed that it encouraged them to come back in the fall and work even harder. 

When observation tools became more technology focused and I started sending emails with observation notes, my teachers revolted!  They liked all the information, pie charts and data, but they missed my hand written note of validation and immediate feedback!  No matter what classroom I visited, I could always find something positive to share and write on a note and place it on the teacher’s desk before I left.  I noticed when I observed in classrooms that teachers would post the special notes I had written after observations on their bulletin board behind their desk.  There is something special about the written word that resonates, validates and affirms!

So let’s meet this October  head on and be proactive with praise!  Start writing some validation notes!  It will make you feel better and it will definitely build your relational trust capital with your staff!  As Mr. Roger’s says: “ If you could only sense how important you are to the lives of those you meet; how important you can be to the people you may never even dream of. There is something of yourself that you leave at every meeting with another person”

Tip of the week:

One of the exhausting parts of being a principal is always having to plan so far in advance.  It is why I am sharing this tip now in October, because you  will need to get thinking, organized, and inform your staff about what you are planning to do if you implement this tip.  Every year of my principalship I gave me, my students, and my teachers a gift in December of teaching every group of students for a ½ hour.  In the beginning of my career, I would do a different holiday craft activity with each class, tailored for each grade level.  After we moved away from  holiday curriculum,  I began focusing on reading a great book and having students write and illustrate  a book with me.

I would have my secretary block out all of the important meetings, lunch times, etc, for the three weeks of December and then have my teachers sign up for a ½ hour block.  This can be modified according to the size of your school.  I visited almost 35 classrooms, so I needed three weeks.  One year I was able to  schedule my visits into the technology block and get each ½ hour  taught in one week!  Exhausting, but it was easier on my office staff and assistant not to have to cover emergencies for such a long period of time.  My teachers got an extra ½ hour of planning time and I got to be with the kids and keep my teaching skills fresh!  It demonstrated that I still knew how to teach and handle the students, but it also reminded me of the hard work that my teachers were facing each and every day.

Every year I did a different lesson with the children, but some of my favorites were:  Reading the book A Fine, Fine School by Sharon Creech. It is a great read aloud for a principal and then the students can write about why they think they have a fine, fine school.  The book, Shades of People by Shelly Rotner  turned into  Shades of Mattawan Early Elementary Students.  I had the children draw a self-portrait and color it and put the over 800 portraits up on the cafeteria wall for them to see.   One year, we made a book for each teacher, written and illustrated by the class titled My teacher is the best because . . .  To prove that I was a techie principal, I developed a student survey and delivered it to the students in the computer lab. The students’ favorite gift of all time was a building tour.  This one is simple to prepare for and implement.  All you are going to do is take the children on a tour of the school, point out when the building was built, (most buildings have a plaque that states when the building was built and who was superintendent and on the school board)   and then take them to all of the places they never get to go.  Point out the custodial closet and teach them about a floor sink, take them into the kitchen and let them walk into the big refrigerator and/or freezer, take them to the boiler room and show them the “basement” of the school and don’t forget the coup de gras, take them into the staff lounge and show them where their teacher’s bathroom is located!  This was one of my students most talked about events!  Until we meet again,  happy trails to you!

Do you have some thoughts or ideas you would like me to cover in the future?  Do you have some validation, affirmation, and/or praise techniques you would like to share with others?  I welcome your thoughts, ideas, and feedback!  Email me at derekwheaton@gmail.com